You thought I had it all together. You were wrong.

You thought we were doing great (because that’s what I told you). You were wrong.

You thought I could homeschool our kids, work on the farm, run a household, and keep my sanity. You were wrong.

You thought we were blessed. Sometimes we feel cursed.

You were wrong. Mostly.

I wanted to rest in Christ, I really did. The past few months were difficult. I’m tired, so tired.

Homeschooling is hard with two curious, adventurous toddlers. Oh and fearless, I don’t want to forget fearless. This means while we are learning, they are climbing the backs of the couches and jumping off. They’re pushing the stool to the front door, unlocking it, slipping out and quietly shutting the door and then banging on the window laughing as we stare bewildered, wondering what just happened.

You think I’m kidding. I should videotape it for you.

One of the twins coughs so hard most nights he can’t breathe and it often induces vomiting. Doctor’s visits and x-rays showed a healthy boy but our combined lack of sleep is causing irritability and  impatience in us both. Unanswered doctor’s visits cause confusion and unfounded worry, leaving me to wonder if it’s a coincidence with allergy season here or if it’s something deeper.

Uncertain futures and lifestyle changes add stress. I’m tired, so tired. Frustrations with homeschooling deprive me of the joy of being with my kids. I’m tired, so tired. What happened to the days we used to play at home and our days were filled with laughter?

We were in a car accident Sunday afternoon on the way home from church when our front tire blew out and flung across the road with the shredded bits of rubber went my attitude. Are you kidding me? A car accident on top of everything else?

It’s too much. I wanna give up but God is whispering to me, “Don’t give up. Just give it to me.”

A reminder from a dear friend shifted my perspective from complaining to gratefulness. Praise God for His hand of protection. All eight of us were buckled up and walked away without a scratch. A miracle, considering the accident location was near memorials from previous accidents. In fact, this very spot is where many fatal car accidents have happened. We lost a dear friend there two years ago and the pain still stings.

So yeah, we could be planning another funeral now or up to our ears in unexpected medical bills but we aren’t. Praise God. Who am I to complain when the going gets tough?

So I’m done. I’m not going to complain about it any more. I’m going to give it to God and let Him work out the details because He’s good like that. He’s detail oriented and certainly His plan is way better than mine could ever be.

Someone told me the other day, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” It’s not the first time I’ve heard that and it won’t be the last but guess what? You’re wrong.

God has allowed me to have many things I couldn’t handle, not so I could drown in the overwhelmingness of it all but so I could draw nearer to Him. 

I’ll admit, I told a friend this week I needed a boat for all this rain (literal and figurative) falling on me right now. A boat…before I drown in the overwhelmingness.

But I’m not a quitter so I’m standing up right now telling the Enemy–bring it! Bring it on. You can throw whatever you want at me but I’ve got Jesus on my side and He fights my battles for me. So get off my back and get thee behind me, Satan.

You won’t win. You won’t win now and you won’t win in the end. My God is bigger and stronger and greater and higher than any other. HE IS IN CONTROL so BRING IT ON!

My Battle Plan:

• “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”   Isaiah 43:2
• “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”   Romans 8:18
• “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”   James 4:7
• “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”   2 Thessalonians 3:3
• “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and that they might have it more abundantly.”  John 10:10

Join me across the nations as we pray for one another, our husbands, our families, our government and their leadership. Pray for a revival in ourselves, our homes, our families and our churches. Pray for God to raise up an army of believers not ashamed of the Gospel. Pray for God’s protection as we join in unity as a body of believers to rise and fight a battle against the real enemy, not ourselves or each other, but The Enemy. Satan. The Devil.

Will you commit to praying? Let’s stop complaining and start a wave of revival through our nation sending Christ’s name into far-reaching places. If you’re with me, please comment and let us know you’ll join forces in prayer against the enemy. Amen? Amen!