I must confess I’ve heard so many sermons and small group Bible studies about the Proverbs 31 woman that I’d begun to hate her.

Have you heard of her? She’s perfect.

Her husband has confidence in her and values her and she brings him good all the days of her life. She makes clothes of scarlet with her own hands for her family. She gets her food from afar (can I please count Costco as “afar?” It’s 45 minutes away!). She gets up while it’s still night to provide for her family. She buys fields and plants them all while feeding the poor. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies merchants with sashes. She speaks wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and never eats the bread of idleness (darn you, Karen Kingsbury for making me want to stop everything and read your books!). Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her. Many women do noble things but she surpasses them all.

Wow. Well, who can compete with that?

So I was sick of hearing this woman praised at every Bible study or in any sermon. Every good woman knows it’s impossible to accomplish all of her tasks in one day and surely she had a support group (I mean, servants) the size of Texas to help her. I only have six kids and I can barely feed and bathe them, much less make them clothes (hello glue gun queen!) or supply merchants with my imperfectly glued Halloween costumes. And I definitely don’t have time to buy fields and plant in them (I mean if I had leftover money from all my other sales like her I wouldn’t have time).

I’m just tired thinking about everything she did. I’m sick of people praising her name and saying we should be just like her.

But wait a minute. What if she didn’t do all that in one day? What if her son had written the psalm about her and it was perhaps a snapshot of her lifetime and everything she accomplished?

This changes everything.

If this were true…maybe my feelings of failure would go away. Maybe I could actually be a good mom and wife. Maybe there is hope after all.

We are constantly compared to other women, other moms, and expected to measure up. If you don’t breastfeed your baby, you are not a good mom. If you don’t sew your own family’s clothes, you are not a good mom. If you don’t sign your kid up for every afterschool activity, you are not a good mom. If you are a working mom and can’t be with your kids every single day, you are not a good mom. If you are a stay-at-home mom and don’t work to provide a better life for your kids, you are not a good mom.

Ugh, it never ends. Such bashing against moms and constant feelings of failure. Why try if we can never be perfect?

Friends, motherhood shouldn’t be this way. Don’t be hoodwinked by what society claims mothers should or shouldn’t be. Don’t even fall for the lie that every woman should be the Proverbs 31 woman and accomplish every task of hers in one day.

Just stop already! You were created by a perfect God who knit you together in your mother’s womb, who has never been hidden from Him (Psalm 139). He knows your every thought and word before its ever on your tongue. He so completely knows you because He designed you and He didn’t design you with failure in mind, or knowing you would feel pent up frustrations being constantly compared to others.

You are a good mom. You are. And if you have believed otherwise, you’ve been hoodwinked.

Check out Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk’s new book (released today!), Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need To Knock It Off. I’ve read it and I’ve gotta be honest–it revolutionized my mothering and my perspective of the Proverbs 31 woman.

Friend, if you are struggling today and feeling discouraged as a mom, pick up a copy of this book from Amazon and read it. It’s powerful and encouraging and I believe every mom should read it.