I don’t like self care. It sounds self-ish. Nail and hair appts, girls nights out, exercising, Starbucks, Target trips, and more. The focus is on me.
Do not misunderstand me.
Moms need a break now and then. So do dads for that matter. It’s important to get out of the house and catch up with friends or on those things that make us feel better like a new set of nails or a fresh ‘do.
But that can’t be our motivation or reasoning behind self care.
Self care looks like soul care.
Self-care looks like quiet time on the porch during afternoon naps. The porch has always been a place to process, praise, prayer, and petition (casting ALL my cares on the Lord).
Maybe for you it’s finding your own quiet place to be with Jesus. To read his word. Talk to him. Process things.
In the early days following my moms death, I sat there on the porch swing, mindlessly swinging, violent tears sweeping my face.
Other times, I’ve sat there, quietly singing along to my praise and worship playlist.
More often than not, I’ve sat there, Bible balanced on one knee and notepad on the other, soaking in the Scriptures while scribbling furiously to record my thoughts about the passages.
That’s what self-care is. Directing our frazzled and frayed attempts at wife life and mom life back to our Creator, desperate for rest and relief from the exhausting, endless roles. It’s seeking solitude, wisdom, and energy to go back in there and start all over again being the mom and wife God made us to be. But we can’t do it alone.
If my sustenance is based on quick trips to the salon, my soul suffers tremendously. A fix-me-up is a temporary solution to a long-term problem.
We will always need more.
But we’ll only find it when we look to Jesus for soul sustenance.
Soul care is finding sustenance in Jesus.
If we want to take care of ourselves and be a better mom and wife and woman to the people in our lives, then we must spend time growing our relationship with Jesus. We must draw nearer to Him so he draws near to us. It is the only way to find true encouragement, rest, and relief from the daily grind.
If you’re feeling worn out and ready for a break, just step outside or step away for a few minutes. Spend some time telling God all about it. Tell him about the bags under your eyes, the attitude your toddler gave you when asked them to clean up their breakfast mess, the mounds of laundry your pre-teen refuses to wash, the long night after you and your spouse tried to sleep after an argument, and everything else. He never tires of listening to us.
And then thank him for all those things.
If it weren’t for the blessings of kids, you might not be sporting those baggy eyes or toddler tantrums or children challenging your authority.
If it weren’t for your spouse, you’d not have a warm body in your bed listening to you talk about your day.
If it weren’t for your Creator, you wouldn’t be here. So take him at his word and cast your own cares on Him, relieving yourself from the burden of worry and exhaustion and drawing strength and rest from the One who never sleeps, who always loves, who knows exactly who you are, how many hairs you have falling out of your ever aging skull, and how many wrinkles make up the crows feet around your eyes.
He loves you.
So when you think about self-care, think about caring about yourself enough to find refreshment, encouragement, and sustenance in the God who cares for you.
That’s some kind of caring for us.
That’s self-less care.
So when you think about self-care, think about that. 💙
