My heart squeezed and I forced my tear ducts not to release any tears. Not again. Two girls I knew just planned another lunch date right in front of me and didn’t invite me. Maybe it didn’t matter but it felt like a daily occurrence. Why did I constantly feel left out? I didn’t mean to pout like child but I so badly wanted a friend. Just one friend. Any friend would do.

I spent the next three years of my life praying for a friend. Just one. 

Despite my good relationships with my husband and mother, I thought if God gave me a best friend, I would be truly happy. I desired connections with other women but my signals crossed between understanding why I felt that need and what relationship mattered most. 

I knew there was a legitimate hole in my life craving female connection. Wasn’t there someone I could befriend who liked to chat about trivial matters but also challenged my relationship with Jesus? Was there a woman out there who liked me for me and not what I could do or be for them?

To be honest, at that point, my desperation would’ve accepted anyone, but my deepest desire was a close godly friend.

An encounter with God

Between nights of crying and days spent wishing for a friend every time I spotted a couple girls out together either by themselves or on a play date for their children, I wished for a friend. I prayed for a friend. And then one day I heard God say, “I am your friend.” 

It stumped me. Was this what I’d been missing? From the depths of my soul, I believed him and knew the Lord truly was my friend. But was he the friend I’d prayed for?

For so long, I’d craved a friend and God wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. I loved him but I didn’t know he felt about shoe shopping or Chick-fil-a dates with me. 

But I did want to know him more.

God designed us for friendship 

So I went back to the beginning of Genesis, to the Creation when God fashioned the world from his spoken word. From the heavens to the earth, the lights and the darkness, the water and the land, the fish and the animals, I soaked up every word of God’s orderliness and attention to detail. When he created something and declared it good, I cheered.  What he designed  was good!

And then in Genesis 1:26-27 God said, “Let us make human beings in our image…so God created human beings in his own image.”

Wow. God created us in his own image as a reflection of him. 

  
Stay with me. Keep reading in verse 31, “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good.”

Not just good. Very good. 

God desired a relationship with his people to relate to us and fellowship with us. He created us for connections, for companionship, for friendship. 

So that’s where my longing came from. Not only did God design us to connect with him, but also with other people. I just needed some people. Where were my people?

So there’s my best friend 

There will always be a void in our life a person cannot fill. No matter how close you are, no matter what secrets you’ve shared, or how well you understand one another, they can’t complete you. 

There will always be opportunities to fill your mind with negative self-talk because maybe you too feel lonely. Maybe you’ve experienced droughts in friendship and you’ve thought something’s wrong with you. 

Go back to the beginning.

Don’t let the enemy grab a foothold in your identity. You were created by God in his own image. Even when no one else sees your worth, God does. Grab ahold of that truth and pursue a relationship with the very One who pursues you. 

Until we’ve solidified our identity in Christ and secured a strong relationship with him, I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to wisely handle earthly friendships. Go to Jesus first. He’s the best friend. 

God gave me a friend

After three years of faithfully praying for a friend while pursuing a best friend relationship with Jesus, he gave me a friend. He answered in the most unexpected ways but it was just what I needed to get me through the next several years. Thank God for his goodness in blessing me with my greatest desire. God is good through the drought and through the rain. 💙

I don’t know if you’re feeling lonely and praying for a friend or if you’re secure in your relationships and make friends easily. Whatever your relationships look like, I know God cares. He cares about you. He cares about your friends. But the most important thing I’ve learned is to pursue a relationship with Jesus first before pursuing a relationship with people. 💕