My birthday is this month but rather than thinking about life, my thoughts are centered around death. Which is morbid, I know, but if you’ll hang tight, you’ll see why. Experiencing the death of a loved one as an adult changed me. My welcome to the thirties was led by my mother’s passing. It was the first time I’ve been so deeply affected by the loss of life as an adult and it stunned me. For sure, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I knew I would see her again and she truly was in a better place. But as for the present, the pain knew no bounds. Daily I experienced that aching grief deep within me. I felt the physical separation and knew I’d never feel her arms around me again. I’d never feel her long fingernails scratch my aching pregnant back. She’d never stand next to me whipping up another meal for our family again. I hated this present separation. I longed to see her again, to be in her presence.

Present elsewhere

The Bible says to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). So yeah—I wanted to be with Jesus too. Him most, then her. Almost five years later, I’m still thankful for her physical death. Despite the overwhelming pain, God brought so much goodness from her passing from this life to eternity. He created such beauty from those ashes (Isaiah 61:3). I know now what true separation feels like. When the Bible talks about our sin separating us from God, I understand. It’s the same pain. Or it should be. I’m on a personal journey to obedience. Honestly, the Bible has WAY more to say about it than I expected. It also explains the consequence of disobedience and the separation from a holy God. Death.   

Choosing the right path

Maybe it’s because God has tenderized my heart over the past several years or maybe it’s something else, but that brings me to tears. I don’t WANT to be separated from God. I don’t WANT to spend forever away from Him. I don’t even want to spend NOW away from Him. What I want the is the abundant life He offers. When He promises a peace that passes all understanding, I want to always experience that. When He fills His loved ones with joy, I want that. I want it all. But it doesn’t come with a life of disobedience. It comes with a life wholly surrendered to Him. It comes when we fully submit our will to His and acknowledge and accept His perfect plan for our life. Submission is so hard because often we plan our own steps, but the Lord directs our paths. If we listen, He guides us in the right path. We just have to pay attention. So as we’re ringing in another year and celebrating another year on earth and another year older, I will look to the future. Past the pain of the present and toward the togetherness with Jesus and that great reunion in Heaven one day.

Dig Deeper

Want to read more about what the Bible says about death? Check out these Scriptures: Romans 6:23 Romans 5:12 Genesis 2:17 Hebrews 9:27 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 1 Corinthians 15 Revelation 21:4 Not sure what you believe about God or death? Send me a message and I’d love to chat more about it. ❤