She stood still, shaking her head and refusing to budge. “I’m not going on that,” she insisted. We pleaded but she resisted our persuasions. Despite our best effort, she wouldn’t be joining us on the biggest roller coaster in the park. Her definition of fearless didn’t match the rest of the family.
Hours passed and we finally convinced her to try a smaller “big” coaster. She rode it and had a blast. It wasn’t as scary as she’d built up in her mind.
I’m the same way sometimes. I feel the need to follow the Lord in specific areas but other areas are off-limits. Growth scares me until I self-talk myself into sitting this one out.
That’s not what I want. I don’t want to be the girl on the sidelines, sitting out because my shaking nerves are wrecking me. Or because the adventure seems so big, so unattainable, or so suited for someone else.
I’ve spent the past months listening to the Lord push me toward trusting Him in ALL things. Not just the safe, little things I know I can handle but the huge things that give me heart palpitations and send rivers of sweat down my hands.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s farming, parenting, homeschooling, or writing, I’m convinced the risk-free ride is safest. I’m so wrong.
God has shown me time after the time over the past months that safe ISN’T best.
The Beginning of Fear
I can say with certainty I never would’ve started writing if it had not been for my mother’s death. Something in me broke then and my hidden love of writing burst forth as a way to express my pain.
No one read those first writings. It was well over a year before I started blogging and by then, it was a way to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness through this rollercoaster of life.
Opportunities arose for me to write for a larger audience and truth be told, it scared the pants off me. It’s one thing for a few friends to read my words but quite another for millions of readers to consume my words.
So I didn’t do it.
I let fear consume me. What if someone hated my words? (Someone did.) What if they judged me? (Someone did.) What if they rejected me? (Someone did.)
The realities of people and their expectations and differing opinions stopped me in my tracks. Fear bound my feet to the path God intended to take me elsewhere.
Fear is a lonesome place to live. It’s a place where selfishness rules and pride thrives. It’s a place where you no longer care about others because you’re so consumed with your own feelings. As my father so aptly reminded me, it’s a place where I’ve taken my eyes from Christ and focused them on my surroundings.
What I know to be True
Fearless isn’t synonymous with reckless as I’ve always thought. Maybe in someone else’s definition, it’s the same. But now that I’ve listened to the Lord, I realize fearless is simply trusting Him and obeying. In the words of Josh Baldwin, “My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love.”
When I let my feelings begin to dictate my future, I pause. Breathing in deeply, I call on the name of Jesus. There’s power in HIS name. He reminds me of the Word I’ve hidden in my heart and recalls the powerful promises to reassure me. All I have to do is trust Him.
When fear of the future or present circumstances threaten to overwhelm me, I trust Him. Living a fearless life means trusting that the abundant life He’s provided me is in the center of His will. It means stepping out in faith that He’s got a plan when I can’t see it. It simply means following Him, one solid step of holy ground at a time.
There will be battles to face this year. The enemy will attack, knowing I’ve promised to follow the Lord. But I won’t be shaken. I won’t be fearful. I won’t sit back on the sidelines.
I’ll be fearless.
Not reckless.
This is how I will fight my battles. In the power of Jesus’ name, I’ll follow His leading this year through the continuous roller coaster of life. Whether He leads me up a mountain I cannot see or into a valley where my feet cannot touch, I’ll follow Him. Before I feel the attack of the enemy, I’ll suit up in the armor of God. When I know the enemy fighting me, I’ll step back and give the battle to the Lord. To trust and obey is to fearlessly follow Him.
Dear Lord, My prayer this year is for You to allow me to see every situation as an adventure. Break these chains of bondage suffocating these fingers of fear wrapping themselves around my heart, squeezing the life from it. Surround me with your love fighting that fear with your perfect love. Help me trust in you and experience life abundantly as you intended. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Scripture Look Up
Perfect love casts out fear. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
We can have abundant life. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10