What Every Wife Wants to Know: Secrets for a Successful Marriage {Giveaway}

Every Wife

He brushed past me, arms loaded with the overflowing trash bag, muttering, “Nice of you to empty the trash today. Did you save all this for me?”

I rolled my eyes, to his back, of course. “Seriously? I’ve emptied the trash twice today, thank you very much!”

Ten years later, we laugh at this, but taking out the trash was one of our first arguments as a married couple. When Hubs requested permission to marry me, I distinctly remember my father warning him that I was raised differently than Hubs, who viewed marriage as “his roles and her roles.” Laundry was her role; taking out the trash was his. Cooking was her role; mowing the grass was his.

There were no gender specific roles in my family growing up and we all learned to pitch in together, so my dad was wise to warn Hubs of our different backgrounds. I felt no shame reminding Hubs of this when he wondered why I didn’t take the trash out. That was his role, remember?

We both entered marriage, blissfully unaware of the daily challenges we would encounter. No one warned us of the stupid things we would disagree about. No one offered suggestions on how to move past these disagreements. We watched as countless friends, who married the same time we did, ended up divorced.

Why was this happening over and over again? Why were young couples not staying together? Why were people encouraging them to split and go their own ways without counseling them through their problems?

I’ve asked six women who have each been married over 35 years to share with us the secrets for a successful marriage:

  
These women have experienced everything from mountaintops and the rewards of a lasting relationship to valleys and the pain accompanying it. They’ve succeeded in their marriage and are happily sharing their tips with us. Here are the top 10 tips for a successful marriage:

    1. Make eye contact when talking or listening to him. Remember those sappy romance novels you read as a teen, where the woman gazed deeply into his eyes while he spoke? Yeah, do that for your husband because it makes him feel important and you’ll be effectively showing how much you love him. It’s the little things.
    2. Hold hands. You’ve seen those older couples walking through the cobblestone streets downtown, clutching each other’s hands, acting as if no one else is around? They’ve learned one of the secrets to a successful marriage –keep it physical! Men need that physical touch, even if it’s something as simple as holding hands while you’re walking down the street or watching television; hold hands.
    3. Date night. Whether you have ten children or two, date nights need to be a priority at least once a month. If you’re kids are grown and gone, make it a weekly affair to date each other. Don’t fall into the rut of married life or family life, but consider date nights an investment in your future and your family.
    4. Be friends. This means like each other and share interests together. You’re on the same team so stop fighting over the things that don’t matter. Remember all the reasons why you married him, find a neutral activity to enjoy together as well as learning to like what he likes and have fun with your spouse!
    5. Let him lead. It’s hard for your spouse to be a leader if you refuse to let him lead. He was created to be the head of the home, so let him make decisions and trust God that things will work out fine.
    6. Communication. Talk to each other, help each other, share your fears and concerns with each other. Make sure you’re on the same page as your spouse and if you’re not, spend quality time together side-by-side to reconnect. When raising a family, both parents must be on the same page concerning discipline matters. Never argue in front of your children. When disagreements arise, as all marriages have them, talk to one another, and it is very important to work it out before you retire for the night.
    7. Respect. Always let him know he can do anything he sets his mind to. Never belittle your spouse in public, especially in front of your children. If you don’t respect him, they won’t either.     Treat him as you want to be treated in all areas, even in conversation, when you’re around others.
    8. Trust. Don’t hide things from one another, especially what’s bothering you, but share your burdens and concerns. Allow your spouse access to your private email or social media and vice versa, proving your trust.
    9. Encourage. Be an encourager to your husband, lifting him up when he feels down. He is the best friend you have, so build him up with your words.
    10. Be unified in Christ. “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” The most important thing in a marriage is to always have God in the center of your lives. Unity in Christ will give you the strength to withstand any storm.

couple in field

Quotes to Remember:

“Remember, if the wife wants to be treated like a queen, she must treat her spouse as a king.” –Sue Battreal

“Let your kids know you think their Daddy can do anything.” –Jeffie Bennett

“It’s a funny thing, you’ve been married long enough to know this marriage goes in cycles, some are great and some you just work through.” –Linda Wages

“I thank God for my soulmate/husband and I look forward to growing old together. It has been hard work but the reward of a Godly marriage is worth it.” –Deb Carpenter

“Always make your husband #1, making him feel like the most important person in the world.” –Beverly Carregal

“Life has not always been easy, and that’s when our love for each other and for Jesus Christ grew. We work very well together as a team and have realized we shouldn’t try to do things alone.” –Susie Jones

What wonderful, practical advice from these women who have experienced it all in their marriages. Thank you, ladies, for taking the time to share these helpful tips with us! I hope you all  take their advice to heart and have your own successful marriage!

 

{GIVEAWAY TIME}

ABH

We have an awesome Valentine’s gift set from Antoinette’s Bath house for one winner this week! It’s perfect for him and her –handcrafted soap and bath bombs for her and manly whipped soap for him. It’s easy to enter the giveaway, just follow these two simple rules:

  1. Subscribe to The Farm Wyfe blog by entering your email below.
  2. Comment below, letting us know you subscribed and tell us why you deserve this awesome bath gift set!

 

*Failure to comply with both rules will result in disqualification. A random winner will be selected on Friday, February 12, 2016 and will be notified by email.

 

GOOD LUCK!

68 comments

  1. Taylor says:

    I would love to win this bath set! My sister in law bought us this brand for Christmas and I was so impressed with the quality and scents! Love your article too on a successful marriage❤️

    On a side note, I’m always so curious as to when you write these awesome blogs with 6 kids! ? I’m so impressed ☺️ Haha.

  2. JMarselas says:

    Hey Amanda! I have already subscribed to your blog as I am a big fan of your writing! Our family is busy as all families are but working a night shift six nights a week leaves little time for down time that only relaxing tub time can give. I would love this giveaway to use as a tool to baby myself so I continue to baby my family. 🙂

  3. LMG says:

    I would use it for a special date night with my man! Ending the evening with a bath together in out tub! He would be so surprised!

  4. Katie says:

    So I can’t believe I’ve never subscribed. I just did though!! Troy and I just visited this place this past weekend. I thought it was amazing and has got me inspired to make my own soaps. All their soaps are gorgeous along with the cute store!! I took a couple pics and was going to show them to you because I knew you liked to make soaps! These soaps are a true art! I love them already and would love to win this!

  5. Kelly S says:

    That whole eye contact thing is so hard for me. My husband has a lot of words and I always feel like I have a lot to do. It means so much to him when I just stop and listen. Thanks for the great reminder!

    • Amanda Wells says:

      A man of many words? I’m thankful he thinks you’re worth talking to and it sounds like he values your opinion. My husband also appreciates the eye contact (when I make it!) so this was a great reminder to me as well. Thank you and good luck!

  6. Amy Buchans says:

    I would love to win this give way, for many reasons-
    1. Because it’s an awesome giveaway
    2. Bc I just had a baby and how great would it be to now be pampered
    3. I’m literally sitting in the dr office crying with my new born bc it’s been a rough start for him ! ( Perfect distraction )

  7. Kaylah Cox says:

    I’m always encouraged by your inspired thoughts! Thank you for your example and letting Christ work in and through you!

  8. mistyharp13 says:

    What a beautiful testament to the faithfulness of these couples, through sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, in good times and in bad, forsaking all others. Thank you! It warms my heart to know that EVERY single marriage has its ups and downs…I’m so thankful for my husband and can’t see myself loving (or arguing with ;)) anyone else! I would love to soak away from the stresses of life in a bubbling bathtub filled with sweet smelling soaps! we moved to be closer to family and to help with an elderly grandparent…boy has it been a struggle…but through it all His grace covers me! I miss my sweet friendships that became like family but I know that what the Lord has brought together in friendships, no distance can separate!

  9. Claire Owen says:

    Love reading your blogs Amanda!!! They always point me back to Christ and remind me of my purpose whether in my marriage, homeschooling, my kids, church etc. I’m thankful for your wisdom and encouragement.

  10. Roseline says:

    I would like to win this to use for a date night at home. It will be handy since the hubby’s schedule is hectic.
    Thank you for this article and may God bless you a hundred fold for your passion to keep marriages together and blessing others. You Rock??

  11. Danielle Brizendine says:

    Great article Amanda!! You are a blessing to me!! I would love to win the gift set. It’s always great to pamper yourself after a long week!!

  12. melissa says:

    Love this article! What a blessing marriage is! I am so thankful God allowed me to marry such a wonderful man who loves me the way he does. I certainly do not deserve an awesome bath gift set, however, it would be nice to take a few minutes out to relax!

  13. karibates says:

    I just subscribed! Love your blog!!! Would love to win this prize and have a relaxing bath once my c section is healed 😉

  14. Stephanie says:

    I’m subscribed ?What a beautiful article Amanda! Thank you for the inspiring words on having a long successful marriage as it is has always been an expectation of mine. I would love to win this giveaway to use as a end of a date night surprise, alittle something special for the two of us!

  15. Jennifer says:

    I love your blog! You are always “spot on”! I do subscribe! I would love to win the drawing, because I definitely need anot evening to relax! My girls are always trying to take my special soaps etc. So this would definitely be a treat!

  16. Meredith Hardt says:

    I thought I had already subscribed ? I’ve read many of your posts and love them all. I don’t know how you do it!!! I would love to win this set! I have a 2 week old and a 2 1/2 year old so I’m still recovering from the delivery. My husband and I didn’t celebrate our anniversary due to the new baby, but this gift would be a perfect way to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine’s Day! Thanks for the message Amanda! I haven’t kept up on Facebook These past couple of weeks ?

  17. Terri S says:

    Subscribed! I’d love this bath set to help me relax – it’s been a busy, stressful year at school for both myself and the hubs. I can take better care of my family when I’m a little more relaxed. I love that there’s something for him, too! (I can share the love) Plus I love all of your soaps! Thank you for all the blog posts 🙂

  18. VBarrett says:

    Besides being an awesome sister-in-law, you are an amazing writer and Godly witness! Proud to call you family! And for payment for those sweet words I believe I deserve the soap set! Lol. Just kidding! But after this looong week I would sure love to relax in the tub. ?

  19. Coreen Owen says:

    I signed up and would like to be pampered. I don’t think I am anymore deserving than anyone of these other ladies. I think that we could all just use some time for ourselves every now and again. And it is great that you are doing something so sweet. I love your blog, you have helped me through many days!!

  20. Ginny says:

    Thanks for the great blogs, Amanda! I enjoy reading them and appreciate the encouragement and challenge they are to me!
    I definitely do not deserve the bath set but would be grateful if I won it!

  21. Sarah Russo says:

    Hey Amanda, awesome blog!!
    I love Athena’s stuff and so does Bailey. She makes me share everything with her. The best are the bath bombs. I take every change I can to have a long soak in the tub and alone time!!

  22. ANNA MARIE MCWILLIAMS says:

    Hey Amanda! I love your blog and love seeing you and Wesley grow with your little ones. You’re an inspiration. (And a precautionary tale, hehe).
    I deserve the pampering because I’m going thru a lot, healthwise, and can’t even get the energy to go to a nail salon to have a pedicure. So a little home pampering would be great.

  23. Lisa Brewer says:

    Hi Amanda! Thank you for letting me know about this great article and I love all the tips for a Christ-centered marriage. Since I’m not a bath kinda girl, I would love to win this to give to a couple that I know who could use a date night and a “bath” would be a great ending to their date, heehee?.
    I am beyond blessed with an amazing Godly husband and although our marriage isn’t perfect, we know the One who is and trust Him to hold us steadfast as we navigate this journey of marriage. I hope to invest in others’ marriages as the sweet ladies from the article have!
    Love you sweet friend❤️

  24. Michelle says:

    Amanda, I just love your blog and Christ-centered messages you deliver! I think it’s very important to pray with and for your spouse as well (probably goes in your number 10- united in Christ). There is just something so powerful in praying aloud for each other!
    Unfortunately, we only have a shower and no bathtub so I would love for someone else to win the amazing soaps I keep hearing so much about!
    Don’t stop writing Amanda….it’s so refreshing to read your blog!

  25. proverbs31grits says:

    Love this blog! Sometimes it’s overwhelming to know that as wives, we set the tone in our marriages. We are so blessed that God is always with us, through it!

    I’m a stay-at-home mom (of boys!), who homeschools. Any kind of pampering would be a dream come true! ?

  26. Kelsey says:

    I just recently subscribe to your Blog….I just spent about 30 mins reading and browsing….I love it all!!! Being that I just got married there is a ton of go to advice for me as wife and mother in the future…so glad I took the time to subscribe and read! I would love the bath soaps…I mean who doesn’t enjoy a relaxing night pampering themselves every once in a while!

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