I glanced across the table, smiling boldly at my husband as our six kids slurped their spaghetti. When he paused with a forkful of pasta to his lips and looked at me, I winked. He almost choked on his food, bursting out in laughter. A silent conversation with our eyes continued as our kids looked at us and then each other without voicing the questions I knew they had.

Tonight would be an early bedtime for them as we celebrate our tenth anniversary with uninterrupted conversation, laughter and unending time together remembering every mountain top and valley we have experienced in these past ten years and thanking the Lord for seeing us through it all.

This summer I have reflected on our marriage –the happy moments, the sad moments, the disagreements and hurts, the laughter and blessings.

The early years consisted of great expectations and huge disappointments.

These later years consisted of a deep appreciation of one another, a mutual love for the Lord, a strong bond, many children, and much love.

There’s nothing I would trade for the current year–walking hand in hand with my husband, seeking the Lord’s will together in everything we do, snuggling on the couch with our six precious blessings, and just loving well. My husband is an amazing gift from God and I’m thankful for him every day.

 These are a few things we practice for a flourishing marriage and I hope you glean some ideas as well as share some with us below.

Here are 10 Tips for Loving Well:

Read God’s Word together.

There is something special about studying the Bible together with your spouse AND sharing what you have each learned in your personal quiet time with each other.

Laugh. All the time. 

There will be times when many things in your life go wrong and all you’ll want to do is cry. I’m telling you, just find something to laugh about, something to lighten the moment and remind you that this “thing” is only temporary. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22

Cherish one another.

Treat one another like the precious gifts you are to each other. I don’t mean that whole “God’s gift to the opposite sex thing”, but a sweet, tender love and appreciation for one another.

Encourage one another.

Not only does the Bible command us to encourage one another, but words of affirmation go a long way to build up one’s spirit. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.                              1 Thessalonians 5:11

Forgive one another.

My husband said to make sure I include that one for you. We are not perfect and neither of us is better than the other so when we mess up, we forgive each other. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

Love and respect each other.

We have struggled with this, especially early on in our marriage when I didn’t respect my husband and his leading our union. Now, I have learned and experienced the power of respecting him and he, in turn, will love me. (Side note: I highly recommend reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs!).

Schedule date nights.

Just because you have a quiverful of children doesn’t mean you’re exempt from date night. Schedule in date nights on the calendar to slip away from the kids and revive your marriage and just have fun with each other.

Make your marriage fun.

Leave little notes for each other to find or write messages on the mirror for your spouse. A little encouragement and flirting with each other goes a long way.

Communicate with each other.

Make sure your spouse hears you and you hear him in return. This is crucial! We have misunderstood each other quite often before and it usually ends up in a mess so listen well to each other! Put down the phone, book, or tv remote and pay attention. When I’m reading, I get lost in a world of my own and it’s become a huge joke for Hubs to interrupt my reading when he needs to tell me something and say, “Earth to Amanda, earth to Amanda, do you read me?” I usually hit him with whatever book I’m reading before bursting into laughter but it works! He has my full attention then and we can communicate clearly.

Find a ministry you can serve in together. 

We have done this since we first married and I love it! There were a couple years when my husband served in one ministry and me in another so we rode to church together and that was about it! We were frustrated and impatient with one another, me especially. I wanted us to serve the Lord together so we made a point to find a ministry we could both serve in together and it’s been amazing!

If you’ve been married for longer than 10 years, I would be honored if you would comment below and share any words of wisdom or advice you may have for us and the next 50 years we have together.

If you’ve been married for less than 10 years, I would be honored if you would comment below and share your greatest date night ever with your spouse.